I've been with Lucas for over three monts. If that's what it is. And when I'm with him It's great. He kisses very well, he's funny and smart, and romantic. I should be abble to love him, but I just dont. And ironnically I want HIM to love me. To say that three words every girl wants to hear. I thought the problem was the distance, and I'm not sayint it's not, but is more than that. I'm still not sure why I don't love him but it has something to do with the fact I'm not inmune to crush for another guy. Today: two.
One is the guy I would never recomend anyone to crush. He's not smart, he's a womanizer, player, all bad things I should be repelled to. But I'm not and this crush is not just something that will be forgotten in time. I had a crush with this guy who I'm not going to name practically since I met him at the beginning of the year.
But the bad thing is, I'm at 4th grade AND I'M INVISIBLE. I don't want to go deeper in that, but it's like no one sees me. Maybe that's why I lie, to get attention. But it's a bad habbit, that's why I'm trying to erase it.
I mentioned another crush. For a guy I just met. He has culture, and is really handsome, I don't know a lot about him except he's a musician and a librarian hopping to become a writter. He's like me.
But of course it's never going to happen because like I said I'm invisible. To everyone except Lucas. Maybe that's why I haven't end the whole thing dispite the distance and not loving him, because he saw me when I was invisible
